Wasting Time



Last Saturday, I decided to ditch my appointment with the doctor and just start early on conquering my mountain of laundry.

I finished earlier than I normally would and decided to start on my own KonMari journey. Yes, I’ve been watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix and am one of those who want to spark joy in their lives. I turned all my clothes into a big pile and began selecting those I want to donate, upcycle and keep. While I was already folding everything, I thought that I’d continue re-watching Kaleido Star, an anime I adored during my high school days. Not really sure if the KonMari method allowed multitasking but I figured it was okay since I enjoyed doing both at the same time.

When I was about 70% into my pile of clothes and had finally finished season one of the anime I was watching, I caught myself almost diving into a deep sigh and almost saying to myself… “Oh no! Another day wasted.” Before I did, I realized that what I was about to do (which is sigh deeply) and what I was about to tell myself (which is ultimately to make me feel guilty) didn’t really feel right.

ü  I finished a mountain of laundry early
ü  I started on my KonMari journey (and was 70% through step 1)
ü  I watched the entire season 1 of the anime I’ve been wanting to re-watch

Looking at those three items checked didn’t seem to be a waste of time. Yet there I was, just about to tell myself that I wasted time with the intent of making myself feel guilty for not doing more.

Thinking about it, I’ve been so used to doing this to myself all the time. I’d feel guilty for wanting to relax, for being so slow, and even for feeling like staying at home the whole day. I know that it should stop. I need to be capable of recognizing what makes me feel good, be it doing something productive and something not so productive at the same time or on the same day. As long as it made me feel happy and accomplished, it shouldn’t be considered time wasted and it shouldn’t be a reason to feel guilty.

Now I ask, “When do say time or effort is wasted?”

Now I’m also able answer, “It’s only when you weren’t able to enjoy it.”

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back! I also feel the same sometimes, but I also learned to value my own phasing. YOLO is true but it is also because you only live once that you'd want to enjoy it too. And it's okay. :)

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